Me & My Daddy Issues

I find it somewhat ironic that i'm writing this on the day following my Dad's birthday...but let me even clarify that statement, when i say "dad" i'm referring to the person my mom married who raised me from the time i was 9.

This post is prompted from me reading about Molefi K Asante Jr, son of Molefi K Asante, basic founder of Afrocentricity. I was reading about how at 25, he is a great filmmaker, author and proffesor. He went to college in London, and has been able to work with all these classic African-American icons. The fact of the matter is, he was able to do all this in large part because of who his father is. This is the type of life my brother and sister will have. My brother and sister who are raised by my father, the person physically responsible for my existence. He and my mother split when i was two, so i missed all the influential years. My father is completely self made, raised in one of Philly's roughest sections, he now lives in the DMV suburbs, in a house that was built specifically for him & his family and drives a cayenne. He's a professor, does business consulting and has his own private equity firm. I am more proud of all that he's accomplished, than i think he could ever realize, but the fact is, he will be able to provide a life for my brother and sister that is financially far beyond anything that would have been possible for me to experience growing up. These are the connections that seperate those with dreams, from those with possibilities. My brother and sister have the world as their oyster and are able to have daily conversations with individuals the world over who affect whole groups of people. this is what they were born into. I was born in a hospital in west Philly that doesn't even exist anymore. My mom and dad clearly provided everything they could for me, but there are basic economics. I got accepted to NYU, but went to Temple, of course it's a great school, i loved my college experience, but it's not NYU.

I guess i just feel like i'm missing something. I have dreams of changing the world, and clearly if my father can do it on his own, i can to. But it hurts me to my core to know that i'll have to, when my brother and sister won't. It's the epitomy of that saying "so close, yet so far" and i don't know how to handle that, what i'm supposed to do with it, if anything. I'm tired of saying to myself that i'm going to be successful, despite certain people. I want to be successful because someone saw something in me that said i was worth helping, i guess because that's how i look at people, and everyone is worth helping if you are able.